红白喜事风俗未出生先订婚抢帽送棉花条
毛南族婚俗：未出生先订婚，抢帽送棉花条—红白喜事风俗对偶
未出生便定亲，
过往，毛南族盛行早婚甚至有未出生便由双方父母定，一般是在六七岁便由双方父母合命，如不相克，便通过媒人到男女双方说定婚礼、陪嫁数目。订婚时，男方要设宴待客，并把部分礼物送到女家。
送新娘棉花条，
订婚后，待男女双方的年龄到二十岁左右便可择日结婚。结婚时要请法师作“招魂”等法事，还要请子女双全的人来杀猪。杀猪时，看猪血流出的情况预言子孙后代的吉昌，如血鲜红，迸射远，则子孙兴旺。婚后新娘不落夫家，并于结婚当天就回娘家住，以后按照在结婚时选择的吉月回男家去一次，由一两位青年妇女陪送，男方要给新娘半后棉花条，意思是子孙连绵，再以后祗在农忙时回夫家，直到怀孕生子后，才到男家定居。
毛南族 matrimonial customs：
如逢节日喜庆或农闲晚上，male and female youth enjoy singing folk songs together；the influence of the elderly is quite prominent—the mother's family must give gifts to the maternal grandfather when a girl gets married；the wedding rituals are complex, with traditional elements.
The free choice of love in the Maoan ethnic group from childhood to marriage has its unique features.
Free love
The Maoan people have a custom of "taking off the hat" before they fall in love.
Taking off the hat is something that happens between young men and girls. When chasing festivals or eating joyous occasions or folk gatherings, if a young man sees a girl he likes, he will try his best to find an opportunity to take off her bamboo hat (or sometimes take her handkerchief). If the girl's bamboo hat is taken away, she looks back at him with disapproval if she doesn't like him; otherwise, she silently agrees and allows him to take it away. Some girls who are eager for love will deliberately expose their handkerchiefs while chasing festivals or accompanying others as "aunties," making it easy for boys who like them to take them away. If taking off the hat works out well between two people, they become friends; otherwise, they don't get along.
The interesting wedding ceremony
Maoan people have free choice of love but not self-determination in marriage.
Marriage is often arranged by matchmakers.
There are two forms:
The groom's parents first see the bride-to-be and ask matchmakers for help in proposing.
Both parties do not know each other; therefore, matchmakers act as bridges between them and determine auspicious dates based on their birth charts. If their birth charts conflict with each other, they cannot be married; instead, they return home empty-handed or pay less than expected money called "垫钱". Matchmakers receive this money and later visit both families separately to tell them that everything has been agreed upon by both sides as thanks for helping mediate their marriage agreement through food and drink offerings called "焊垫", meaning "to arrange marriages". This process takes place on an evening designated by both parties' families after reaching an agreement on dowry payments called "讲牛" (black cow) using copper coins or white silver coins respectively known as black cows or white cows nowadays referred to simply as cow payment without distinction between black cows and white cows due solely relying on cash only term used among locals denoting negotiation over proposed amount paid upon successful proposal during negotiations held at night following matchmaking meetings held once every 3 months prior actual marriage day finalizing down payment arrangements before setting up official date scheduling ceremonies taking place within three days following initial meeting leading up until newlyweds move into husband's home residence permanently unless pregnancy occurs beforehand then moving back temporarily until childbirth concludes settling finally permanent residence within spouse household forevermore henceforth hereafter so long now onwards till death do us part
